Where and How Do You Draw The Line?

I am so caring and giving, all my adult professional life I've made earnings off of giving...but helping people thru Tarot is so much different, it seems like a reading and help doesn't just stop at the end of a session...I have a neighbor I see about every day, today I asked her if she'd like a reading and her eyes got big and said she really needed it...I felt super awesome about the whole reading and so did she...she is not my friend but is now a paying client...but as our reading ended I told her I would text her links to some stuff I recommended she start doing for her life and sanity...so how does one keep readings and sessions to stay and end where they r and not be too involved in their life??? I don't want to be at anyone's becking call for inspiration and cheerleading, I don't want clients to think that my desire to help them means that we r now friends, and I don't want to feel used...what r some pointers for myself to not get too involved and to nicely tell people that I'm not their friend and if they wanna talk to me or get more advice they have to pay? Sounds kindof selfish and greedy but...This is kindof hard and I need to learn this so I don't be spending all my time on people and not getting anything in return...

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  • Do you record your sessions? Or have the client record them on their phone?

    It's not really clear why you seem concerned. I read your post and it sounds like you volunteered some follow-up information which I do often. Your post doesn't say that she has returned regularly to inquire as to what to do next only that new clients do not equate new friends, which is most certainly true.ย 
    At the end of each reading, I always make sure that the questions they came with have been answered as best they can be. Then I tell them if at any time they begin to lose clarity to listen to their recording again.

    Generally, the readings I do cover between three to six months. They take approximately an hour. Then, if they're not finding the information they need, book another reading. Or if you provide shorter readings, you might want to pre-book another appointment sooner so they know to keep their questions until the appointment.

    Just some suggestions.

    • I was definitely asking about both me and the client, I love helping people and want everyone to succeed. Was just trying to figure out how not to get too involved and how to not let a client become too reliant or turn our engagement into a friendship...I am a massage therapist as well, for over 20 years, and people feel comfortable enough during a session to dump their problems on me, but it's always stopped there, in the massage room...this is a lot different because we r offering life skills and advice, but I feel also too because I am older and wiser that there's more to it than just a reading...I sent the girl a Yoga video, ive already asked her if she's done it yet...I just met her so I haven't done more readings for her, yet...I want people to succeed but I feel like this desire could turn into something that takes all my time away, coming from both ends...for now I'm only doing short readings, mainly because I have an 11 month old son, but it's perfect because I have time to develop all these other people skills I'm not used to...thank u Pamela! Having a client record their session sounds like a good idea!

    • I hear you. I've been a licensed massage therapist for over 20 years where I live now. Before that, I was a career bartender for 27 years while my sons were growing up and getting through school. I think it's people like us who are here to be "in service" that somehow involves a glowing neon sign over our heads that reads "Your Secrets are Safe with Me."ย 
      I started recording sessions on cassette tapes way back when the kids got me a tape recorder for Yule. Then I graduated with CDs and now everyone seems to have a phone. If they can't record on their phones, I can always record on my laptop and send them an MP3. I find that with a recording, if they have questions later, they can refer back to the recording and 90% of the time the answer is there. If not? They can always rebook and record another session. ;-)

  • Like any other professional service, the help stops at the end of the session. Be as caring, giving, loving and helpful as you can be while conducting your reading but remember it ends there. Give the client your card or contract infomation, thank them, and let them know that they can set up another appointment when they are ready. Be professional and set boundaries!ย 

    • So true!!! It's a bit like dealing with children. No boundaries mean they're going to keep looking for them. By establishing them early, there's no question so everyone is aware of the limits.

    • Thank u! I was just worried about setting boundaries not only for my clients but for me too lol I have a better idea of how to continue helping people after their reading by offering my other awesome services...it'll all be on my website that I will put on my profile here soon enough, then I would love everyone's thoughts on it

  • ๐Ÿ˜ฑ OMG ๐Ÿ˜ณ I am SO just like you in that regard Vida! You do have to set boundaries, know how to "end", how to tell them they have to pay, in a nice casual way....

    I've had 40-minute Readings, clients have paid for, turn into a two-hour counseling session! (With them not paying for that last 80 minutes)... I want to help!

    So now, I set a timer โŒ› so I have a reminder "this is the end of what they paid for".... Now there's nothing wrong with sending some links for additional resources or "homework" you think ๐Ÿค” they might benefit from...

    As the time runs down, or the timer goes off - LOL, wrap things up... Remind them you are just a guide and they have to make the decisions on what to do (this clearly indicates the ball is in their court now)...

    Tell them to also give it time. Let things "percolate". Time for Changes to occur. Things to work through. (All depending on what the reading was about, and what came up - you'll know what to say here)....

    Then you can hint at a time frame. Some Readers won't let their clients book another Reading for a month, some 6 months, some two weeks. I think it's more of a judgement call, depending on the circumstances of the Reading....

    I will do this by first, as I said, tell them to "give it sometime", and then saying something like, "see how it goes, and what unfolds over the next few weeks, then if you have new questions, you can book another session with me!"

    This subliminally sets a boundary, time-wise, AND also let's them know they're going to have to book another session and "pay", without coming right out and saying it ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Hope this helps! ๐Ÿ˜Žโ˜•๐Ÿ’œ

    ~ Dax

    ย 

    • Dax, I list my pricing by time. That way they can choose how much they would like to invest. I will NOT do readings of less than 30 minutes unless I'm at an event where you're effectively speed reading. Then it's $2 a minute and I set the timer on my phone. Most are happy with $20 for 10 or $30 for 15. But those are also less private and I find someone who wants their friend(s) to listen in more often than not had things pop up with their friends that the aforementioned friends have no business knowing. Most people are okay with reading one on one. I always tell them if they choose, they can later share their recordings. But for now...it's a private affair.

    • This is a great answer. I used to run over time. Now, I set my limits and give a personal buffer for any time that runs over, about 10 minutes or so.ย 

      Yes, sometimes a person is looking for a 'sympathetic friend'. Being a friend, whether they have paid for more time or not, is not a doormat of emotional dumping. Providing resource and opportunity for a 'Clearing/Healing' session is a key in helping the client to reach the ultimate goal of feeling better.

    • Yes, so no session is ever exactly on the dot with time? ย I do have some other healing avenues in conjunction with Tarot that I will be offering...thank u Michaela! I did see her today and asked how she slept with her crystal under her pillow, and she said she was so peaceful and with no nightmares! This has opened up so much for me. Im just so poor right now cuz im starting from the ground up, I am a go getter and am making things happen every day, im so stoked about making something huge out of nothing! My business cards arrived today, time to start meeting my new town! Im kindof shy about putting my website on here cuz it don't really have any content yet, but it'll be on my profile when im ready๐ŸŒป

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